Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Fair is Where You Buy Cotton Candy

No one ever said life was fair.  That’s a lesson I am still learning into my 50’s.  A younger friend of mine is always lamenting on “that’s not fair” and it brings to mind a saying I love: “fair is where you buy cotton candy.”  In other words, fair is indiscriminate.

Sometimes we are dealt a rotten hand.  Think of someone born into war torn Afghanistan or the slums of India  Why some people are born into poverty, disease and neglect while others are born in wealth and comfort and love is one of those questions I intend to ask God one day.  It’s just not fair.

There are many other levels of fairness in-between.  Some people know from an early age what kind of career they want.  It becomes a vocation rather than an occupation.  I envy those people.  People I most often hear say they love what they do are actors.  I do understand it is a craft and one that requires skill and often long hours but I don’t understand why we value them so highly.  That’s not fair either.  Teachers, firemen, soldiers, police, they are our unsung heroes.

Some people struggle all their lives with weight issues while others never do, seemingly without effort.  Talk about unfair. I’ve been on the losing side and the winning side of this battle and I can tell you it changes who you are if you let it.  Self image and body image are SUPPOSED to be separate and apart but it doesn’t work that way for many. 

Sometime people have work environments that lift them up and really allow them to soar and other times you end up with a boss that sours not only your world but the entire office.  I’ve had some great bosses, the ones that teach and inspire and I’ve had some vicious, mean-spirited bosses that rule with an iron hand and believe that is the only way to get results. Sadly, those are usually women.  Power does something to a human psyche like nothing else.   Sometimes otherwise nice people can be brutal and nasty in the work place.  There really is nothing more demoralizing than having to constantly be on guard, wondering what's next, looking over your shoulder at all times.  Bullies in the workplace are probably more prevalent than on the playground.  And miserable people enjoy creating misery.

Health has to be the very greatest example of unfairness in humanity.   There are those that suffer so much physically, constantly in pain and discomfort.   Those whose entire life is a struggle against death.  And sometimes illness befalls some really deserving folks and somehow that feels good but it doesn’t make up for all those babies that suffer or that of the really great, inspirational, giving, caring people that make the world a better place.

And then there is the suffering that comes from mass destruction......earthquakes, tsunamis, floods, fires, hurricanes & tornadoes.  I really hope I die before I ever witness such devastation.  Sometimes on a singular basis it can break your heart but when thousands or people are in pain I’m not sure I’d be able to bear it firsthand.  It’s just not fair.

Sometimes personal crisis seems like mass destruction.  It rocks your world and your foundation and makes you scrutinize what you believe about yourself.  It changes how you trust other people. Sometimes great changes do come from these circumstances though, if we are able to look for that new opened door.  I take comfort in believing that the people that cause destruction in the lives of others will have to answer for it one day.  The suffering they cause will one day be theirs because what I know for sure is when God is judging us he IS fair.


  1. I've heard the saying, "why me?" with a reply of "why not me?"

    This is really thought provoking post, my friend.

  2. you've done some heavy duty thinking for this post...knowing that you work/live/love an awesome God sure helps...and people that don't deserve it...grace because He gave us that same grace..which we don't deserve either.