The Summer of Twenty Thirteen.......

I figured it was time for another post even if I didn’t have something compelling to write about.

The last 10 or so days we have had some STELLAR summer weather and no end in sight.  On my weather app there are nothing but suns for the second week in a row.  You have no idea how excited everyone is! The gardens are bursting into bloom, the animals are basking in the sun and peace reigns throughout the land.  With all this nice weather it kills me to go to work everyday so I’ve been taking Fridays off.  That will cease come the new fiscal year though (July) when it gets extremely busy.  I’m sure summer will be over by then anyway! 

Isn’t this the coolest idea???   (herb garden)

I decided I needed to do some thinning of some of my plants that were spreading out of control.  Last year I had given stuff to a couple coworkers so this year I cast my net wider to include the entire grants and contracts section in an email offering aforementioned starts.  Much to my surprise, I’ve had a pretty good response and it has been fun having some coworkers over that I don’t know very well to share with (the Grants part of my office is housed in a different building so I don’t know them well).  Last night one gal came over and I in the course of visiting I realized she is the sister-in-law of another gal I used to work with so later that evening SHE came over too.  I hadn’t seen her in a couple of years and it was great to catch up.  This weekend I have several others coming. 

Chris just got over a particularly horrible summer cold.  It really laid him up for a few days.  It started as a sore throat and then went into his head and then developed into a nasty cough.  He spent all day Sunday in bed.  He is the biggest baby ever when he’s sick so he usually holes up in the bedroom and doesn’t come out.  I would stick my head in and ask him if he needed a popsicle or soup and I’d get a grunt in return that apparently meant ‘No’.  His appetite is the first thing that goes when he’s sick and he literally did not eat for three days.  He’s back to his usual tricks now (i.e., driving me nuts) so I know he’s on the mend.

A friend of mine started a photo scavenger hunt for the month of June.  She has a lists prompts for each day and we post a picture that illustrates her prompt.  It’s been great fun! I didn’t think I would be interested but day one was “a favorite thing” so of course, I had to post a photo of my cats and then the second day was “something pink” so I posted a picture of some bergenia I had blooming and then, one thing has led to another and almost everyday since I’ve found something to post.

The mosquitos have been fierce here lately!! I don’t remember them being so bad.  In the evenings when I’ve been out working in the yard they have been vicious.  In the house too.  We have hole in our screen door where Timmy scratched his way out so that has been a problem.  I keep suggesting we get a new one but Chris says he’ll just do it again.  But we’d have 5-6 years before there’d be holes, I say.    Honestly, with that kind of logic we’d never get anything new.

I’ve started a new series of books.  There are four altogether, the first one is A Million Tears by Paul Henke.  Such a great book.  It’s an epic saga of a family from a small Welsh town that immigrates to America in the late 1800’s.  Now I’m on Tears of War and Peace, and then Silent Tears ending with  Tears Until Dawn.  That should take me through the summer.  Although sandwiched in I’m reading a depression era novel called Face the Winter Naked, (Bonnie Turner). 

On the job front I am FINALLY being flexed from a Grant Administrator I to a GA II. It’s been a long process, I was first told I need to pass an oral test to flex.  So I took the test and passed and then I was told I needed to do a formal solicitation for professional services so that was completed a few months ago and then I was told I needed to do an informal solicitation so now that’s done.  I addition to my leasing duties I have to manage 10-15 contracts too, so I will be busy.  It hasn’t actually happened YET but I’m told next week.  It’s a 3 range bump so it will be a nice pay raise.  Of course, it’s all going into deferred comp to help pad the old retirement fund, should that ever come to pass!

Okay, I’m sure I have captivated my readership for long enough with the exciting details of summer, 2013.  To quote a favorite blogger of mine, Carry On Warriors!

                                          

Happy 93rd BIrthday to My Dad

Today my dad turns 93 years old.  He was born in 1920 in West Virginia.  To put it in perspective, here are some facts about our country when he was he was born:

Woodrow Wilson was the 28^th President.  Prohibition had just begun.  On August 26, 1920, the 19^th Amendment to the United States Constitution became law and women could vote in all 48 states of the union.  A stamp cost two cents. 

Jazz great Louis Armstrong was a popular musician.  Movies were wildly popular with most people going at least once a week.  Charlie Chaplin and Greta Garbo were the movie stars of the time.  Some popular movies of the 1920s were The Kid (1921), The Gold Rush, (1925), The Wizard of Oz, (1925) and The Phantom of the Opera, (1925). 

The band aid was invented in 1920 as well as the automobile with combustion engine.  A few other inventions of the 20’s include the lie detector (1921), the bulldozer, (1923) and Kool Aid (1927). 

There were 105.7 million US citizens with a median income of $1236 and a teacher’s salary was $970/year.  The 1920’s were an era of great prosperity, which came to an abrupt halt in 1929, and followed by the great depression of the 1930’s.  By 1927, two thirds of American homes had electricity and running water. 

The life expectancy in 1920 was 53.6 for a male and 54.6 for a female.  It took 13 days to reach California from New York.  There were 387,000 miles of paved road.

Dance crazes included the Charleston, the Black Bottom and the Shimmy.  Harry Houdini was the great escape artist of the 1920’s.  Cigarettes were 10 cents a pack. 

My 17 Year Old Self...

In one of my last blog post I was reminiscing about time gone by after having lunch with a couple of classmates I hadn’t seen in years.  I’ve been out of high school for 36 years and that was the first time I have been with the two of them since then.  I ended the post speculating on the lessons we could have taught our 17 year old selves and my niece challenged me to write about that.  It almost paralyzed me into blog inaction forever but I’m finally getting around to it.

I would say kindness to self would be at the top of my list.  I was so insecure and so lacking in confidence as a young women and I did many things to try and fit in and gain acceptance.  I looked for comfort in all the wrong things.  I didn’t believe I was worth much and that attitude was reflected in my choices and my behavior.   I had terrible body image issues and always felt “less than.”  If I could go back in time and convince myself that all those tapes swirling around in my brain were LIES and that I was a precious child of God, made in his image and just the way he intended I would have saved myself a lot of pain and misery.  I would NEVER talk to other people the way I talk to myself...the horrible things I have repeated to myself over the years make me cringe and I wish I could say it has stopped but that would not be true. I have a much easier time looking beyond the physical with other people, seeing people for their awesome hearts, but when it comes to me all I see is what the mirror reflects back and each year that gets a little worse.

I would say choose your friends wisely.  The people you surround yourself with show the world who you are and, in addition, color your every day existence, either negatively or positively.  I’ve had a lot of good friends go in and out of my life but these days I am more discerning about who I allow to get next to me.  I have no time for toxic people.   I have “friends” on  Facebook that post the most negative and hateful pictures and material, from sites set up with no other purpose in the world other than to denigrate, mock and disrespect, all under the guise of informing people about the “real” truth, as they perceive it.  These are usually political in nature, either targeting the president or anyone associated with the president or any group of people that believes differently than themselves.  These posts are not inviting dialogue or trying to educate or affect change.  They are simply inflammatory and their only purpose seems to be so like minded people can rally and laugh and they can congratulate themselves for their superior intellectual and moral character.  People that make these posts are immediately “hidden” from my daily feed.  That doesn’t mean I have to agree with everyone on everything they post but their message is hopefully not lost on their delivery.  I actually really enjoy reading and learning about different lifestyles, religions, and cultures but it has to be presented with integrity and respect.

I’d tell myself to be more patient, have more compassion and don’t be so judgmental. To my 17 year old self everything was black and white.  I thought I had the answers to everything.  The older I get the grayer my world becomes and I really understand how little I know.  I really try to understand both sides of all contentious social issues from abortion to gay marriage to gun control.  I listen to my heart.  Our hearts cannot delight in what our minds cannot embrace.  God convicts me of certain things and they may be different than the convictions of other Christians and that’s okay with me.   If, on judgment day, I find I fell on the wrong side of some issues then I’ll have to depend on God’s grace and mercy and I’m okay with that too. 

I would say to find a passion and parlay that into a way to learn your living.  I have always envied people who knew from any early age what they wanted to do for a career.  If only I could find someone to pay me for loving animals!!  I’ve had some good  jobs and I’ve had some really horrible jobs but the one constant I remember is keeping track of how much time I have left.  I wish I was doing something where I dreaded the thought of retirement.

I would also remind my younger self that how I live my life DOES reflect on my parents.  I remember my mom used to take everything SO personally and I could not understand why my choices mattered so much to her.  Causing her pain is one of my biggest regrets.   Of course, now I do understand she had my best interests at heart and was trying to help me avoid the subsequent pain of bad choices.   There are many things I did that still shame me terribly……I know God has forgiven me but I have a hard time forgiving myself.  It reminds me of a story I read once about a grandfather who told his grandsons they could do anything in the barn, but please do not pound nails in the barn door.  Of course they did and when he confronted them they apologized and promised to pull the nails out and they did but there still remained the scars of those nails on the door.   Let’s just say I have many scars on my barn door.

I’m sure there are many more conversations I could have with myself but this is a start.

Happy New Year everyone!!

Reflections of Another Time...

Today I had lunch with two high school classmates.  As I was walking away it occurred to me I should have gotten a picture but the hour flew by so fast I didn’t even think of it.  One of them, Colleen Hannon Stanley, was not only a classmate for all 12 years of school (she didn’t go to kindergarten) but a neighbor as well.  I grew up with the Hannons. Our moms were good friends.  I don’t remember ever not knowing Colleen.  She now lives in India while her husband fulfills a two year contract with the US Air force (as a civilian) and after that they may move to Dubai, on the Persian Gulf coast of the United Arab Emirates.  She doesn’t want to though; she wants to be back in the U.S. near her kids and grandkids and working towards a retirement. 

The other classmate was Kim Oudekerk Gibb.  Her family moved to Haines when she was freshman or sophomore I think so I don’t have near the history with her.  She got married right after graduation and lived in Petersburg for years but has lived in Juneau about twelve years.  I ran into her once at a boat show but I haven’t ever seen her, even in passing, since then. 

Colleen is here to play grandmother to her two year old grandson while his mom has another baby.  Pregnant women living in Haines have to come to Juneau to have their babies and have to be here for three weeks ahead of their due dates.  So she is taking the baby home to Haines while his mother remains here.  She is happy to get out of India, even though they live in officer housing on base, the world is a different place in India.  She says “Slumdog Millionare” pretty accurately portrayal of the poverty that is rampant there.  Kids begging for money in the streets, diseased and starving animals, and way too many people are all part of her daily landscape.  She doesn’t work there, getting a work visa was too much of a nightmare so she has written a book about her experiences.  Neither she or her husband are allowed to even drive, they have to have a driver from base.  She said it’s too dangerous and military advises against it.  No one slows down for anything and it’s not uncommon to run over an animal. 

Kim has been married for 37 years and has two kids and two grandchildren.  She has worked her way up in a local bank and is now a loan officer.  She wishes her parents had encouraged her to go to college.  Colleen finished her degree in public administration in 2010 after attending night school for many years.  She too, got married right out of high school and raised a family before going back to school.

The last time I saw Colleen was about 12 years ago at a high school reunion.  I haven’t spent an hour with Kim since we graduated.  It was a whirlwind catching up but so much fun.  It was interesting, the juxtaposition of our 17 year old high school days with our 54 year old current day selves.   We spent the hour discussing kids, grandkids, jobs, and retirement, peppered with a few mentions of hot flashes and colonoscopies. 

Oh, the lessons we could teach our 17 year old selves.  So many things could have been reconsidered and better thought out, crises averted and pain avoided.  In the end I guess it is all that hard stuff that got us where we are today so in that regard I wouldn’t change a thing but oh how I wish life came with a few do-overs!

A Little of This, A Little of That....

Saturday morning I got up around 7 AM.  I heard Chris’ car leaving and I had forgotten he had to work.  Notice I said I got up, not woke up.  I had a nasty kink in my neck and back from a few days prior and I was so uncomfortable Friday night I couldn’t stand it so I read until about 2 AM and then I took a pain pill.  It was outdated, don’t know if that matters but rather than put me in a deep slumber I was hoping for, it totally wired me and I’m not sure I ever fell asleep.  By 7 AM I couldn’t stand to toss and turn any longer so I got up even though my brain felt completely numb.  I was rummy and in my rumminess the first thing I did was start going through my closet.  I have had a closet full of size 0 and size 2’s that I have been hanging on to for too many years with no hope of ever fitting into them again.  Which is not to say I have no hope of ever losing weight but I know I’ll never be that small again.  If, by some miracle I find myself that size again, I will gladly fork out the bucks for some new clothes.   I ended up taking three big black garbage bags of clothes and one box of shoes to St. Vincent de Paul’s.  As well as one big box of books to Friends of the Library. 

After that I got on the treadmill for 30 minutes and then I cleaned the house.  It’s so much easier to clean the house when Chris is gone.  Then I went for a long walk and when I got home I made a pass through the garden and pulled the offending weeds and watered everything.  I can count on one hand the times I have had to water this summer.  My Livingston daisies are all blooming now and it all looks much like the picture above.  Thankfully we have been getting some sunny days so they can showcase their glory. 

When Chris got home we went grocery shopping and ran some errands.  I got some steaks marinating and then I sat down and read my book and promptly fell asleep.   I just love a good nap and I rarely take them.  That night we BBQ’d some tenderloin steaks that you could cut with a fork, so good!!   It was a great Saturday and I can’t believe how good it feels to purge my belongings.   Now it’s got me inspired to go through all my closets and cupboards and do some more. 

On Sunday I had to sit for hours with a heating pad on my back and today my kink seems a bit better.  I still can’t turn my head to the left without it hurting but it is better.  The bonus is I got a lot of my book read, a light, fun summer read called “Summer Rental”. 

And now you, dear reader, know every detail of my very uneventful weekend.

Springing Into Action

The last few weekends (three, to be exact)  we have spent furiously spring cleaning and painting.  So far we have accomplished this list:

Painted the dining room and the living room  ( silver springs, a light gray/bluish color)

Painted the accent wall and the baseboards  (a darker gray color)

Sanded and painted CD shelf unit to match accent wall; replaced knob

Cleaned another shelf unit and washed all the doilies and purged it of non- essentials

Washed livng room windows and cleaned blinds

Scrubbed down walls and door in entry way

Took all dishes out of the hutch and ran through dishwasher, cleaned all the glass and dusted the wood

Cleaned windows inside and out to the slider door

Cleaned all the glass covering pictures

Bought new rugs for living and dining room

Cleaned out cupboards in the kitchen

Painted kitchen walls and ceiling (bright white)

Cleaned all the countertops and stuff sitting on the countertops or on top of cupboards

Polished laminate floors

Raked the garden and yard

Changed out all the electrical covers (shiny  brass ones)

Paint ceiling in my bathroom

Now that everything else is so clean we realize we really need to paint the popcorn ceilings but then all the above would be for naught because it would make a huge mess.  I would definitely have to start over on the cleaning because every time you touch those ceilings pieces drop off.  And gardening projects are calling my name…….

One thing I’ve discovered is I love productive weekends.  I love the feeling of accomplishment that comes from finished projects.  I love working until I’m physically exhausted.  It’s a good thing too because next weekend (weather providing) it’s time to thatch and aerate the yard and then it will need to be raked again and then I need to spread about 30 bags of bark, and then I need to fertilize and lime.  By the next weekend it should be time to make all my containers and plant the annuals.  We have had an amazing spring so far and I sure hope it continues!

Angels Among Us

The other day I ran into a friend who is a cousin to the mother of baby Kylie.  We chitchatted for a while about the ongoing situation with the baby who, that day, was scheduled for her THIRD surgery.  The second surgery to “repair the fix” did not produce the results they had hoped for so this third surgery was to put a mechanical valve in.  This means she will have to be on blood thinners the rest of her life and get more surgeries to replace the valve as she grows.  It was an option they were hoping to avoid.  What was supposed to be a 2-3 week trip is going on week seven now and all their resources are drained, from financial to emotional.  The dad, Nick, ran out of paid leave weeks ago and Krista, the mom, is surviving on leave donations.  If she runs out of leave she loses her health insurance and, for obvious reasons, that just can’t happen.  So, her cousin mentioned possibly doing some kind of fundraiser to help come up with some money for them. 

I got back to my desk and wondered if there was something I could do.  Eventually I decided to get permission from my boss to ask my office for leave donations on Krista’s behalf.  Krista works for General  Services which is located on the 7^th floor of the State Office Building.  I work for Grants & Contracts and the Grants part of my office is also located on the 7^th floor of the SOB, although the contracts side, of which I am a part of, is located in the AOB.  I knew from my days at DGS that you get to know the other floor occupants from the hallways, elevators & bathrooms and I also knew if people can put a face to a plea for help they are more inclined to give.  So I obtained permission and wrote my plea to my office asking for leave donations for Krista if anyone was up for it.

The next morning I got an email from a gal over there asking me if financial donations would be appropriate.   She said if so, she and her husband would like to contribute.  So I told her yes, that would very much be appreciated and told her she could drop her donation off at DGS with Krista’s cousin.  A little while later Krista texted me that this woman, who Krista didn't even recognize by name, had dropped off a check for $800.  Krista was so astounded at her generosity it made her cry.

None of us know why things like this are allowed to happen to innocent babies.  Three open heart surgeries in the span of two months would be difficult on anyone, let alone a now 6-month old baby.  We can all imagine the horror of watching your baby suffer that way, and we can all appreciate the toll it has taken on the parents as well.  The sheer length of this family’s ordeal would be enough to make anyone snap.   They stay with the baby round the clock, taking turns sleeping in a waiting room.  They have little privacy and no sense of being settled. They worry about their 10 year old daughter in Juneau they haven’t seen in almost two months.  Meals are out of a hospital cafeteria, and probably bad coffee out of a machine.  It has not been easy.

What I know for sure is even though we can’t understand why suffering is allowed to happen, it is a chance to know and experience grace, tender mercies we've done nothing to earn.  It is a chance to see angels walking among us, like this generous coworker.  It is a time when we can all see and experience the best of human kind and to see God’s love and mercy through the actions of others. 

Happy Easter

This picture is taken by Pat Costello.  I absolutely love it.  The super low tide had stranded all the starfish and he was there at just the right moment.  Pat is ALWAYS there at just the right moment, he takes some amazing photos.  I am thankful for people who share their talents.

Breaking Up is Easy To Do........

Alaska Airlines is officially on my MAJOR pet peeve list.  I hear people complaining about them all the time and I had no doubt they operate like an company with a monopoly.  In many places in Alaska we have no other airline to rely on.  For the most part I take their gouging without putting too much thought into it.  What’s the point?  Besides, we don’t travel that often.

But recently something happened that changed my complacency.  A friend of mine (and spouse)  have to travel to Seattle to have open heart surgery performed on their  5 month old baby.  They are going through some tough times as one might imagine, both with leave usage from their jobs and travel expenses.  As anyone with major medical issues know, it all adds up fast.  I donated  some leave to her  and then Chris mentioned donating miles.  What a great idea, I thought.  He has miles he almost lost recently because he doesn’t have much activity on his account so we volunteered to donate 25,000 miles for their travel.  They were thrilled to have the miles, they have to buy opened ended tickets because their return depends on how well the baby is doing so air miles were definitely needed.  Imagine my surprise to learn it costs a lot of money to donate miles!!  $10 for every  1000 miles, to be exact, and then a $25 fee for processing.  So the cost of donating 25,000 miles came to $275.  For miles that I earned, that were MINE!! (Well, actually they were Chris’ but still……)  One might think the $25 processing fee would suffice…..why they have to charge for transferring miles from one account to another is beyond me.  It just goes to show their loyalty and appreciation for their patrons.  And how they really do gouge you at every turn.

So in conclusion…….BOO, HISS AK  Airlines.  You are no friend of mine.

Spring in Juneau

Spring is on it’s way. …I can FEEL it!! I have a love/hate relationship with this time of the year….we haven’t had any snow in a while and the ground is becoming barer of any remains daily.   Temperatures have soared in the high 40’s and there have been a couple days you hardly needed a coat on.  YET….I live in Alaska and I know in my heart this is simply a fleeting reprieve from winter.  It is after all, only February.  There will be more snow even though it hardly seems possible at this juncture.  But my heart remains optimistic, ready to believe THIS could be the one winter that ends early.  This could be leading up to a summer for the record books, one reminiscent of the summer of 2005.  A girl can dream.

My friend Carole and her husband were returning home last  weekend, emptying the car of groceries etc., when the sounds of crying  got their attention.  They looked across the street to see a kitten running in their direction, soaked to the bone and very thin.  So, of course, kitty has a new home.  We went over to meet him last night and my heart absolutely melted.  He is a little Siamese Blue Point kitten (just like Piper) and just the cutest thing ever.  Very  playful, very loveable.  They already have two cats but “Moose” is ruling the roost already.  There is no doubt God knew what he was doing when he made kittens and puppies so irresistible.  They were not wanting additional animals but there was never any question they were taking him in. Why don’t I ever happen along kittens looking for a new home??  For all of Chris’ protesting that we don’t need any more animals, I know if we came upon a baby under those circumstances he would cave like a little girl. 

I know I needed to post a new blog entry but if I don’t have a topic in mind I really am stretched to find something to talk about.  My two sisters are together this week in Port Angeles and I’m missing it.  All I can think about is all the fun and adventures  they will be having and I’m missing out.  I really hate that feeling.  Next year  I won’t miss it!

So 'Happy Spring' to one and all, hope yours is for real and not a fantasy.

Life in 2012

I woke up this morning and it was zero degrees.  Yikes.  It has been in the single digits for a few days but usually warms up to double digits.  The sun has been shining and it is beautiful, nonetheless, zero is about my threshold for cold weather.  I lay in bed last night and nose was a block of ice.  Chris gave himself a haircut yesterday and when he got to bed last night he wore a hat!  It was a chilly one.

I have to document my husband’s coffee machines history for prosperity’s sake.  When we got married  we had one little percolator coffee brewing pot that my mom gave me for when she came to town.  When Chris’ belongings arrived it was replaced with a coffee maker he owned.  A couple years later it quit working and about that time Kmart  was going out of business so I snagged one there for really cheap.    Really cheap never satisfies Chris, and a few weeks later he bought a nicer, way more expensive one.  The Kmart machine was relegated to the garage.  Then the coffee presses came out and he needed one of those but he also wanted a tea kettle to heat the water.  A friend of ours gave him a tea kettle but that one wasn’t good enough so he went out and purchased a new tea kettle. The old  tea kettle went in the garage.  That kept him happy for a while, many a weekend morning  was spent listening to whistling of the tea kettle.  Then  I accidentally broke the coffee press so we had to immediately replace it, which wasn’t nearly as painful as being regaled with accounts of my “crime” being, over and over to anyone who would listen.  So imagine my surprise when I woke up one morning last week and this new contraption was sitting on my counter.  Yes, the old expensive coffee maker found a new home in the garage and a Keurig Coffee System replaced it.  My garage is getting over run with Chris’ rejects.  He sure is happy though, he bought a box of coffee capsules and he is keeping track on his I pad of the ones he really likes and the ones he doesn’t.  There are also capsules for tea and hot chocolate as well.

On another note, my dad just turned 92 years old.  I really can’t imagine what it would be like to have survived that much life.  He grew up in the South and has gone from what I imagine was a very segregated upbringing to seeing a black man in the White House.  I think of all the technological advancements that have happened just in the last 20 years, let along the 72 years preceding that.  He had a 62 year old marriage and a 40 year teaching career. He has always worked hard and has explored many passions.  He is really blessed to have two people in his life that really love and care about him and are physically present in his life.  He was a difficult man to have for a dad and we each bear some scars but I am really thankful that God has provided him with Bill and Glenda.  So Happy Birthday Dad……

Adios 2011

I am SO DONE with this year!!

There were some good things to attribute to 2011….in February I had a fun sisters reunion in Port Angeles, WA.  A week together was just right….we cooked, and shopped, and walked and  I got to meet my nephew’s kids and meet his wife.  We watched movies and did a lot of laughing.  There is something about shared sisterly DNA, we all make each other laugh (MOST of the time)! 

I had a pretty good garden this summer even if it was mostly over by the first part of August.  It always goes too fast but when it starts raining about six weeks early things happen in a hurry.  I have finally gotten to the point where I feel I have an established garden.  Even if I didn’t plant one thing new I’d still have a pretty full area.  We did do some brick work and built new borders and a whole new bedding area out front.  It felt good to give my garden area a facelift.

In September I got a new job and that was probably the single best thing that happened this year.  It continues to be very challenging.  Everyday something completely new and unexpected comes up.  My supervisor warns me that it will take a good year before I feel like I know what I’m doing and I’ve never had a job like that before.  There was always a learning curve but it usually only lasted a month or two at the most.  My boss is a dream to work for, very encouraging and supportive and really appreciative of my efforts.  My coworkers are all very nice people and everyone gets along so well.  It continues to amaze me, it’s like finding nirvana after spending time in hell.  Seriously folks, it couldn’t be more different than my last experience.  I am still trying to process all that happened in that job and discern what management was thinking.  I just don’t understand how people think they are going to get a good, let alone the best result from people that are so unhappy, unappreciated and utterly defeated.  I’ve never seen so many demoralized people in one place and every day I wonder why someone doesn’t do something about it.  And why those people are allowed to run amuck.  And what justification they would give for their behavior.  And how they got to be so misguided.   It really is nothing more than schoolyard bullying and it is shameful that professionals at the State of Alaska are allowed to conduct themselves that way.

In November Chris & I celebrated our 10^th anniversary and took a long weekend trip to Seattle.  We stayed at the Westin Hotel right downtown and had thousands of stores within walking distance.  One night we were eating dinner at the hotel restaurant watching the crazy Friday night traffic and Chris commented that just watching that kind of traffic made him tense.  I guess you really can take the Houston out of the boy as well as the boy out of Houston.  He lived there for 20 years and in less than 10 he is SO over city driving.  Which isn’t necessarily a good thing….now when he has to he gets very short tempered and grouchy.

The house is all prepared for Christmas, the village is set up, the tree is adorned and all the holiday merriment placed about the house.  Gumdrop cookies have been made, cranberry salsa is plenty and most the gifts have been purchased and mailed.

I hope everyone reading this (YES, all 3 of you!) has a blessed and wonderful holiday season.  And my prayer for each of you is that in 2012 ALL your dreams come true!  May God bless you richly.

How Fleeting Life Can Be...

Yesterday a coworker’s husband died while diving.  He was 35 and they had been together since 9^th grade.  He also left a 7 year old daughter.  I didn’t know him but I’ve known his wife for years and his mom used to be a state commissioner and frequented the AG’s office quite a bit when I worked there.  His dad is the chancellor at UAA, SE and he is often heard on the radio or on TV.   I wasn’t close friends with any of them but his death affected me deeply.

I think about his wife and how she got out of bed that morning and did all the routine things one does to get ready for work.  How is must have felt like an typical, ordinary Monday morning, the knowledge that she was stepping into the worst day of her life blissfully ignorant to her.  Her husband was probably already gone, he was working as a deck hand that day and they were going sea cucumber diving.  She was probably feeding her daughter and getting her ready for school.  When she got to work she probably visited with coworkers  and inquired about the weekend that had just passed before she settled into her desk to begin work.

It probably couldn’t have been anything but a regular day at work before two JPD officers appeared at her desk that day asking to speak to her in private.  I imagine anyone seeing them walking in prayed a quick prayer that those officers weren’t there looking for them.  Whose desk they stopped at was a gruesome, random chance.  Another woman in the office saw them and had her own flashbacks, these officers had appeared at her desk one day to give her the news her daughter was dead.  I think of all the military spouses who have looked up to see uniformed men approaching their doorstep and want to run back in time and make it stop.  As she walked to the conference room, I can’t imagine what his wife was thinking.  Who in her family could it be?  Her mother?  Her father?  A sibling?  I’m sure her mind wouldn’t allow her to think it was her husband or her daughter.   Perhaps she hoping someone just got arrested before she realized they wouldn’t be paying an office visit to share that information.  It’s those visceral moments in life that tend to define us.   You become who you are because of the results of these moments.  It will always be a part of your history.  Someday, she will find a new normal…she may even find love again and remarry but she will always be a woman who found herself in front of two officers on that rainy October morning in Juneau.

I can’t begin to imagine what she is going through today.  To wake up (if she managed to sleep at all) and realize she is a widow.  That the love of her life and the father of her child is gone from this earth, that the plans she had for the weekend and for next month and for the rest of her life no longer apply.  I  am overwhelmed for her, thinking of decisions that have to be made, vacations that have to be cancelled, dreams that have to be rewritten.  One life ended, many lives interrupted. 

On Facebook this morning she pleaded with people to hug those you love and love so hard you have no regrets.  She said she had no regrets, because of the love they shared.  She assured people she would be fine with him as their angel watching over them.   She also knows the Lord and I’m positive he is holding her close, comforting her and giving her peace as only a loving Father can do.

NEW JOB

I  decided I better make a blog entry before I forgot how.  Seriously, I just haven’t had any writing inspirations.  I was going to blog about how horrible my old job was but my mind isn't ready to go back there so instead I’ll write about my new job.

On September 26, 2011 I started a new job with the Department of Health & Social Services, in the Grants and Contracting Section.  My title is Grants Administrator I, which is a range 14 but after a year you flex to a II, which is a range 17 so that’s a nice little jump.  I am a 14J though, so that’s the equivalent of a 17C so my jump won’t be too significant but that’s okay.  At least I won’t be in longevity anymore. 

Although I am called a Grants Administrator that is not what I do.  What is do is function as a leasing officer.  I am the only one in the section that deals with leases and DHSS has about 80 active leases in 30 different communities.  The Division of General Services has the procurement authority to lease,  DHSS does not, so I am the liaison between DGS and the our divisions.  Whenever anyone  wants to move  entirely or just  gain or lose space,  I am called upon.  When a lease is not renewed, I am called upon.  I keep a huge spreadsheet that maintains all the current numbers and keep the divisions up to date on what square feet they have and what they are paying.  Whenever construction work needs to be in the buildings we own and occupy, I hire contractors and engineers and abatment people. 

In a year’s time, I will go before a couple of department people and be tested.  You get all the questions beforehand and can have whatever notes and written material you choose to have with you but it’s still a test and an oral one at that.  Because I don’t work with either grants or contracts (although I understand I will eventually be doing some contract work) I will have to study hard.  Most people can rely on their experience but I won’t have that advantage.

I am really excited for this opportunity.  I am way out of my comfort zone and my skill set but it’s exciting and new.  Some days when I get home at night my brain hurts!   My supervisor is brand new as well so she isn’t much of a resource for  me but the section chief is training me and my predecessor is also a great help.  I am writing a desk manual as I learn so at the person following me will have some kind of guide. 

The people here are great.  There is very little turnover and everyone seems to be truly happy in the positions.  The division I came from was just the opposite…..people were miserable and demoralized and in the last month about half the staff quit so that staff that is left is carrying an extra heavy load.  It’s  amazing what a toll that takes on people individually.  I feel so much lighter and happier and ever so grateful.   I am thankful for fresh starts.

You Know You're From Haines if You Remember.......

Recently someone started a group on Facebook that has garnered quite a following.  It’s been a fun trip down memory lane.  Here are some of my favorites:

·         Feather and Fin restaurant

·         Moose Horn restaurant

·         Doody’s store

·         Wileys restaurant

·         All the “put the fear of God into kids” adults:  Retha Young, Florence Lammers, Ethel Powel, Bill Battrick

·         Roller skating at the old barracks

·         Swimming at 11 mile

·         When the bakery was a row of apartments

·         The big outdoor stairwell into “Schnable’s apartments” with the Post Office below

·         The “Rack & Que” (someone even still had a Tshirt!)

·         Mrs. Berry’s pink everything!

·         Powell’s Store

·         Hakkinen’s Store

·         The Corner store (owned by McDowells)

·         Curfew siren going off every night.....10 pm on weekdays, 12 on weekends

·         The police station up by the legion hall

·         Customs down at 1 mile with a sign saying if you missed us, check in tomorrow morning

·         Riding the cable car at 26 mile

·         Sourdough Pizza (taught me to love of sprouts atop my pizza)

·         The old yellow truck on the playground

·         The rope swing up by Menakers

·         The Smell of the Yukon

·         Strawberry Festival

·         When the “Food Center” was brand new and it seemed so big

·         Porcupine Shorty’s strawberry patch

·         When you could go to the movie theater and pay $.50 for the ticket and $.50 for popcorn & soda

·         Dr. Jones cutting the cast off my leg in front of my 2^nd grade class

Of Books and Floods....

Recently a friend of mine commented that she hates to try out new authors for fear of being disappointed.  Those words have been gnawing at me ever since.  She is an avid reader so I find that sentiment really sad.  I LOVE discovering new authors, it’s one of the great joys of reading.  To limit yourself only to the tried and true ones seems really confining to me.  I fear more being disappointed by an author I’ve always enjoyed.   Jodi Picoult is a good example, I always buy her newest book but in the 20 or so that I’ve read of hers there were a couple I struggled to get through.  But c’est la vie.  Whether or not a story appeals to one personally has a lot to do with the topic at hand and some topics are not as interesting as others to me.  I didn’t particularly care for the one about an autistic boy for instance, but her last one that deals with several hot button issues in our society today captivated me.  Infertility, gay rights, conservative Christian views, love.  How can you go wrong with that?

In other news we are under a flood warning in Juneau! They are not sure why but speculation is there was a lake that has been trapped by the glacier that is now free. This morning the water level was 13.7 feet and rising.  Minor flood stage is 11.5 feet while moderate flood stage is 12.5 feet.  It’s a little disconcerting to say the least.  Here’s hoping it doesn’t get any worse.

Hailey Mae July 13, 1993 - July 2, 2011

It was June 7, 1993, I had just returned from a trip south and had one more day left of vacation.  It was sunny and bright out and I relished spending the day in the sun.  Then I got a call from a friend of mine who lived in Washington and she was in town and wanted to go to lunch.  Perfect.  After getting ready I headed out the door and I noticed my cat, Gretchen, following me down the stairs. I thought it was funny that she seemingly didn’t want me out of her site after being gone a couple weeks.  I got in my car and spent 3-4 minutes with the engine running searching for the beginning of a song on the tape,  (remember those days?) then I put the car in gear and started to back out.  I immediately heard a sound I will never forget, a scream, and I instantly knew I had run over my cat. 

Eying the treats that are above her

Fast forward a month or so and my friend Caroline told me about some kittens a friend of hers had.  She took me to their house one night and I picked one out but the kitten wasn’t old enough to bring home.  Caroline seemed determined to get me a replacement cat but my heart wasn’t really in it.  I was worried I wasn’t ready yet and worried if I got one too soon I’d never bond with it.  Non-pet people usually assume when you lose a pet any old animal will do in its place.  I can tell you it doesn’t work like that with pets anymore than it does with humans.  They have such different little personalities and Gretchen I had definitely been in synch.  I loved that cat more than anything in my life and I was the only mama she knew. So I wasn’t really sure when the day came that I brought Hailey home. 

I shouldn’t have worried.  She had me from ‘meow’.  From the moment she arrived I was her mommy and she didn’t want me out of her sight.  She’d sit on the bathtub edge and cry when I was in the shower.  She’d sleep on my pillow.  I’d wake up in the middle of the night and just look at this cute little buddle of fur.  One of the cutest pictures I have of her was when she was a little bitty thing and I was sick.  One afternoon I fell asleep on the couch with my box of Kleenex next to me and when I woke there was Hailey inside the Kleenex box.  It was adorable. 

One of her kitten hood misadventures happened when she and Hillary were playing with a ball of yarn.  I had gone to lunch with a friend and when I returned it took me a few minutes to realize she wasn’t around.  And then I saw her...she was so tangled up in that yarn she literally couldn’t move a muscle and it was wrapped tightly around her neck.  That was the last time yarn was used as a cat toy in my house.

Her claim to fame was her ability to get plastic lids off.  Treats always came in containers with plastics lids and she was a pro.  I had to hid treats where she couldn't get them lest she open it up and eat the whole can.  One day I came home and she had gotten a can of Slim Fast powder off the counter and the lid off. She must have thought anything with a plastic lid was cat treats so she must have been sorely disappointed to go through all that work only to discover a weight loss powder....which I was vacuuming up for months out of my lovely 70s orange shag carpet.

I always had 1-2 other cats throughout her whole life and she was always my favorite.  I really loved that cat, everything she did was just so cute to me.  Unlike Hillary who sought to win Chris over when he joined our household, Hailey wanted nothing to do with him.  She was always a one person cat.  Somewhere along the line I gave her a middle name and always called her “Hailey Mae”......she was really very special.    But cats in old age can be as cantankerous as humans in old age and she was grumpy in recent years, compounded by the fact she did not ever befriend the two new cats or the dog.  She became increasingly isolated in the dog kennel.  She also quit grooming herself and developed mats of hair all over and she stunk.  She quit eating proper cat food and would only eat cat treats.  And she had stomach problems which translates into massive amounts of vomit......everywhere.  Then she started wetting herself so last Saturday I finally made the decision to end her life.  She was 18 years old and she had seen me through a lot of life.  I was pretty confident I was doing the right thing as I drove to the clinic and did fine as I was explaining my decision to the vet.  But the moment I bent down to kiss her goodbye I was hit with a wave of emotion that just about knocked me to my knees.  It was such a visceral reaction that I did not expect.  Emotions are a funny thing, even when you think you have them all boxed up and put away they can knock you for a loop. 

So here’s to you my sweet feline friend, rest in peace.

Friends Are Like a Box of Chocolates....

When we first moved into the home we now live nine years ago I noticed the woman who lived across the street.  She was tall and willowy and much younger than me.  In the following years I’d run into her occasionally when I was out walking or working in the yard but she never spoke to me and frankly I thought she was really stuck up.  After a few years she moved out and then it seemed everywhere I’d go  I’d see her. ...the Home Depot or the grocery store or gas station.  Then I got a new job and surprise, surprise, there she was. She didn’t actually work in my office but she frequently had to bring things in to be signed and she wasn’t any more friendly there.   At the next job she was dating the father of a coworker.  Then I saw her hanging out with an old landlord of mine and read in the paper she ended up marrying him. She seemed to be one of those women who couldn’t go a nanosecond without a man. This year in January there was an opening at the office I now work at and she one of the applicants.   I couldn’t believe my bad luck,  I didn’t like anything about her.  So imagine my dismay when the notice came out saying she had been hired.  Before she started I looked her up on Face book and there, everything I thought I knew about her  was confirmed.  Every day there was an entry voicing her very loudmouth conservative, Republican agenda and her outspoken discontent with our president.  Even if I agreed with her I don’t appreciate reading people’s political rants on FB and I always hide their entries if they get too obnoxious.  Then I saw another reason not to like her....she is an avid hunter! I am not opposed to hunting, per se, I just cannot relate to the desire to kill animals, particularly for fun or sport.   She has numerous pictures posted posing with an array of dead animals.  And she’s the president of the local NRA club.  The was the final nail on her coffin as far as I was concerned.

So imagine my complete and utter surprise to find I actually liked her!! We have absolutely nothing in common.  She is very girly-girl in some ways....she wears 6 inch heels and perfectly manicured fake nails and is very fashionable with her long processed hair.  On the other hand she is this Harley girl with crazy tattoos and when she isn’t on her bike she’s out hunting or fishing. Or working on machinery.  Or some other manly  pursuit.  She is such a contrast between ultra feminine and masculine.   The funny thing is though we really enjoy each other’s company and get along great.   We play endless games of Hangman and Word With Friends and we have such a hoot just hanging out.  She really brightens my work day and she has a fantastic sense of humor.  I still have her hidden on my FB but every once in a while I sneak on to see what she has written.   There are subjects we avoid but all in all it’s quite a miraculous friendship!   I guess the moral of this story is one of my favorite quotes that says:  don’t ascend so far into your own beliefs that you villainize anyone with an opposing point of view.